She was as prepared for motherhood as she could be. She’d read the books. She’d taken the classes. She knew to expect the baby blues or possibly more. She knew that life as she’d always known it would be flipped on it’s head. Yet there was one thing she wasn’t expecting: The loneliness.
It’s a common element to new motherhood, but one that is not often talked about. Many new moms are surprised to discover how lonely parenthood can be and how much their friendships change with the birth of a baby.
Parenting, especially in those early days, can be overwhelming and all-consuming, and relationships with friends are often put on the back burner despite good intentions by both parties.
However, it is also during this time that friendships are most necessary. The hardships and joys of motherhood are best navigated with other people.
Regardless of what stage of parenthood you are currently in, whether early in the game or with children ready to leave the nest, having a support system is vital. Finding that support system however, can sometimes seem more difficult than it’s worth.
How does one find friends in the midst of the busyness of parenthood?
It may seem silly to offer a list of ideas for how to find friends, but for those who may be struggling with loneliness, this might be just the resource needed. Of course, developing friendships in any of the following ways requires action, as well as trial and error.
Those who consider themselves introverts may find it difficult to put themselves ‘out there’, but it can help to realize that many moms feel the same way and would welcome the chance to connect. It’s also important to recognize that not everyone will hit it off, which is perfectly normal.
If you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone a bit, you are likely to find who you’re looking for.
How to Make Mom Friends
Moms of Children of Any Age
Faith Community- If you regularly attend a church, synagogue, mosque, or something similar, you are in a great place to meet like-minded mom friends.
Work- Besides your family, the people you spend the most time with are the ones with whom you work. Although your coworkers may not all be moms, it’s great to have friends in different stages of life.
Local Events, Clubs, Etc.- If you have the ability to get out on your own every once in a while, find a class to take, a book club to join, or a group that offers you the chance to work on a hobby you enjoy. This will give you a chance to meet other women with similar interests in a setting that lends itself to getting to know each other.
Moms of Babies and Toddlers
Library- Check your local library’s schedule and you’re sure to find weekly story times, as well as other regularly scheduled events for young children.
“Mommy and Me” classes- There are many types of classes for moms and babies to attend together, from lactation support groups to workout classes. Do a google search for ‘mommy and me [your location]’ and you should be able to find a list of websites with more information on local classes.
Open Gym- Rec departments in many cities offer open gym times in the colder months. It’s the perfect time to let your child get some energy out while you get to know other moms.
Playground- The local playground is the perfect spot to either meet new friends or meet up with friends you’re getting to know.
Moms of Preschoolers
Library- Weekly story times usually last through the preschool years and other activities are often available for this age group as well.
Open Gym- Rec departments in many cities offer open gym times in the colder months. It’s the perfect time to let your child get some energy out while you get to know other moms.
Playground- It may be easier to meet other moms at the playground with this age group because your preschooler is a bit more independent on the equipment, giving you more time to chat.
Preschool Events (class parties, field trips, etc.)- If your child attends preschool, there are often school events that bring parents together. Attend these events whenever you can and you’ll likely get to know other parents.
Moms of School-Aged Children
Library- While there may not be a story time for children who are in school, there are often after-school activities geared especially for older children.
Playground- You may not find as many moms here with kids the same ages as yours, but you’re still likely to find women in need of friends. In fact, it’s great to befriend moms in different stages of motherhood than you. It gives you an opportunity to offer support to younger moms and receive support from moms who have already been through the things you’re going through.
Rec Sports- If your child joins the tee-ball team or wants to learn the fundamentals of basketball, you have a golden opportunity to meet other parents whose children share similar interests.
School Events (class parties, field trips, sports teams, school activities, etc.)- Getting to know the parents of the kids your own children go to school with is not only fairly easy, it’s also quite important. Your children will likely be together for many years, so forming those relationships is valuable both to you and your children.
After School Clubs- Whether volunteering to be a scout leader or a PTA parent, there are many opportunities to get to know other moms through after school activities.
